ROOM 101

I've mainly been a placid girl, one that's hard to annoy,
Until I entered Vietnam; the capital called Hanoi.
The traffic pollution was so much I had to hold my nose,
And watch as the many hundred bikes almost got my toes.
Those bastard noisy motorbikes, they drove me round the bend,
Starting early in the day, right til the clouded end.
They beeped their horns at anything, pointless, it did seem
And when it came to cross the road it made me want to SCREAM!
No traffic lights. No right or left. There was no green cross code,
They came at me like swarms of flies, buzzing down the road.
I found it best just not to look, I know that don't sound wise
But this way saved a heart attack, and life flash before my eyes.
Now my body didn't react too well, it sent my head to spin,
It felt like I'd turned round and round, or spent all day on gin.
It made me think to the start of this year, when I often felt the same,
And similarly I got angry and sad, finding myself to blame.
That time was quite an ordeal for me, I felt all I did was wrong,
But once I worked through the panics and fears, I think it made me strong.
This trip of mine, it's helping more, there definitely is a link,
As I've realised now, that in my life, nothing's ever as bad as I think.
It's a great thing to do, with all your thoughts, giving them a positive spin,
It stops those regrets, and omits that pain, and you feel like you always win.
This positive spin can be hard to do, and to get used to can take quite a while,
But trust me, if you persevere, it will always make you smile.
So, those bastard bikes, they tested me, and made me want to run,
And if I had my turn, along with those flies, I'd put them in Room 101.
But, that's my point, being tested like that, it makes us what we are,
And if you look up to that shining moon, you will land happily amongst those stars.

Week 15 - Vietnam - Hectic Hanoi

So we had decided to get a flight to save the long old journey to Hanoi. It wasn't just the long bus ride that put us off but throughout Laos, we chatted to so many people about Vietnam and that particular journey, and it was all bad feedback, saying how police got on the bus and demanded more money before carrying on, and other such stories like that. Before we took off I emailed a place in Hanoi who said they did airport pick up if you stay at the hotel. We tried to call them to confirm they got the email but had no luck getting through. But sure enough, when we came through passport control with our new visa stamped, there was our guy holding up my name on a bit of card! Didn't we do well. Yes.

We got to our hotel and settled in. The hotel lady was crazy. She was really lovely and helpful but you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of her! Crazy. We went out for a wander and a bite to eat. I didn't like Hanoi already. It really threw me out my comfort zone. The traffic was just ridiculous. Motorbikes upon motorbikes upon motorbikes. All using their horns for no reason. I think after Laos, which was unbelievably calm, Hanoi was going to take a bit of getting used to. Still, we had a tv with satellite in our room so wasn't all bad. Haha. Joke.

We spent a day just milling around and seeing what was about. Walking round the huge lake, dodging people trying to sell us everything including the clothes off their back. Actually that's not even an exaggeration. One night I was walking along and my flip flop suddenly broke and flipped up in the air, and some woman came running over, taking off her shoes and tried to sell them to me! As kind as it was I had to decline. Their feet are tiny!

We found a great cafe with sheets of paper for tablecloth and a bunch of crayons. It's the simple things in life that make you happy. We spent ages in there one afternoon just listening to the chilled music and drawing all over the tablecloth. We had been walking around for ages though so it was a well deserved little break. We'd been to the prisons where John McCain had been kept. He was shot down and arrested in 1967 and suffered several injuries. He spent 2 years in solitary confinement and leg irons as punishment for insulting some guards. There you go. You learn something new everyday.

A favourite part of Hanoi (there really was one) was the water puppet show. It was all in Vietnemese obviously but it was so colourful, and you could follow it anyway. It was an hour filled with live traditional music and great looking puppets in the water telling short stories. We couldn't believe it when people were walking out. We chatted to a girl from Israel the next day who had also been there. She said she found it so boring. Pfff. I stopped talking to her. She was boring.

And another evening we went to the Jazz bar that we'd read about. The music was great. And then obviously we took a bit of advantage of our tv and the film channel. And HBO. And we discovered a show called 'flight of the concords.' Anyone heard about it? It's like the Mighty Boosh but they're from NZ. Pretty funny.

FOR ISABELLA

For Isabella, who is being baptised today - Sunday 26th October

These wishes come from me to you on this important and memorable day,

If I was there to be with you then this is what I would say;

Isabella, you are a lucky one, by us all you are well adored,

If you ever have any worries or fears then by us all you will be assured.

You see the family you have been born within is the best that you'd definitely get,

In my opinion, after all these years, they are the greatest bunch I have ever met.

Up to now I have been the youngest one, the one they all had to look after,

But as well as this, the memories I hold are filled with much fun and laughter.

On all celebrations we get it together and raise each glass for a toast,

Or if it's merely a sunny day we congregate right down to the coast.

But I'm not going to spoil it all for you now as you do have all this to come,

I just wanted to say that our family is better than having your very best chum!

But you are even luckier than that, the reason for this I will tell,

For today you are being blessed by God, so you are now in His family as well.

This is important for you, as throughout your life you will need to listen out for His voice,

But Isabella, please remember this, it's your life and therefore your choice.

As a family we will always be supporting you, giving advice that you may wish to take,

But as you grow, the paths that you choose, are decisions that just you should make.

So today, in true style, our family are celebrating this cool special start,

I really do wish I was there with you too, but instead I send the best from my heart.

Week 15 - Leaving Laos

If anyone out there are complete wusses like us,
You'd understand why we flew to 'Nam' and didn't take the bus.
The bus, we were told, took one day and a half
And as much as we like travelling, it didn't sound like a laugh :)

THE BLEEPING LEECHES

The Bleeping* Leeches

*I'd much rather use a stronger word here to show my anger but for the sake of keeping this blog clean I won't. Feel free to change it though. My preferred work starts with 'F' and rhymes with 'ducking'...





In the big Asian jungle, hundred miles from the beaches,
Lives a huge population of small bleeping leeches
They hide and they glide in the mud every day
Awaiting the humans who turn in to their prey.
So on a bright sunny morning while the humans take a trek
The bleeping leeches sit watching for the very right sec.
Unaware of this plotting the humans walk through the muck
And the bleeping leeches have a field day as they latch on and suck.
They slip on to their feet whilst they laugh, walk and chat,
And bleeping suck all the blood which then makes them all fat.
The thing with bleeping leeches is you don't feel them suck on,
So before you even know it half a bleeping pint has all gone.
Then the humans stop to rest and look down past their knee
To see bleeping leeches still sucking; not one or two, but THREE!
Now the humans could be calm here and flick with their finger
But bleeping leeches just suck to that, and there they will linger.
The anger creeps up on them right out of the bleeping blue,
They can't bleeping get rid of them and they don't know what to do.
So then starts the screaming at those horrid fat bleeping suckers,
"BLEEPING LEECHES! GET OFF ME! YOU SUCKING BLEEPING FUCKERS!!!"

Week 15 - Laos - Luang Prabang - Jungle trekking

SO. We'd heard 2 reviews on this one:

1. It's so beautiful. Get a boat there and go swimming. It's really leisurely.

2. We trekked for 3 hours through mud. One poor woman had some many leeches on her that all her arms were bleeding by the time we got back.

Hmmm now this is us I'm talking about. Which version do you really think we ended up on?!

We didn't want to do a group tour thing so we just hopped in a tuk tuk and asked him to take us there. More of an adventure doing it alone and all that. We got there at about 9am after I nearly wet myself on the way. I have to set the scene ok! You need to know things like that. We'd got up early doors to see those monks marching the streets. So we get there and the driver says he'll wait for us. We're just going to see the waterfall right? Yep. First up were some bears. They looked bored. Then we ventured on and came to the waterfall pretty much straight away. It wasn't that hot yet being so early and we were aware of leeches. So we didn't have a dip. Just admired the view and started climbing up the hill to get to the top of the waterfall. It took a good 30 minutes. Jan had to talk me through climbing a load of steep steps right next to the waterfall, and then I had to talk her through crawling under a brach full of big ants. We're a pretty good trekking team. We don't need no guide. We got to the top and were faced with the jungle. We saw a massive spider up in the tree and tried to capture him on camera. It was actually here that I found the 'macro' feature on my camera. Hence why from now on you're going to see alot of shots with something close up in focus, and the background all blurry. It's me being arty ok! I don't think I'll get bored of it either.

So, top of the waterfall. Jungle. Lots of flies and nats landing on us. Looking for spiders and stuff. And it was pretty muddy. Neither of us mentioned it but we were both thinking it. Leeches. Flippin' leeches. We decided to try find the road which should have just been that way (pointing right) but it turns out it wasn't. So then we came back and went left. We could have just gone back down the waterfall way but it was a pretty steep climb and where's the fun in that anyway!! So we ducked and dived under ant infested branches and twigs and leaves, but were still mainly concerned about all the mud and the leeches. They started appearing but we were on guard ready to flick them off ASAP. It was good that it was so early as we were the only ones there and hence felt free to let out scream. It helps to cope with leeches aswell. Scream them off. And what not to do is stop to take a picture or film of a cool leaf that looked as though it was just spinning in thin air. Which is what I did. But because I was so engrossed in the leaf spinning action I wasn't on leech duty and didn't notice the little shit that slid in to my shoe. By the time I had noticed he was pretty much finished and was all fat (from my blood). I screamed him off and then screamed some more at the blood that was pouring out my foot. Jan screamed as well. Lots of screams. We ran for a bit, screaming along the way, then stopped to discuss (using high pitched screamy voices) whether we should go back and climb down or continue (but we hopped around whilst discussing so not to be stood still for more leeches). We decided just to carry on so continued hopping over as much mud as possible. The day was getting hot but we were doing really well. Finally after trekking through a jungle of mud slides we heard water and came to a river!! YEHH, we must be getting near. Nope. So we walked along the now open and dry mud track. We came across a couple of water buffalo, who when we asked them what way we should go, just ran in to the bush. Rude. Finally we found another road to meander along and came across a couple of huts. We chatted to a couple of Laos blokes who lived there. We didn't have that much in common though so headed back the other way. We were 3 hours in to our trek now and wondered whether Mr tuk tuk would still be there! We came across a weird Laos man. I won't go in to why he was weird. But he was, and we didn't want to be around him. He luckily went off in the other direction and we legged it down a new road. About 30 minutes later we came to a tarmac road. YEHHHH!!!!! We went the wrong way for a little while (obviously) and then turned back and went the right way, eventually making it back to where we started. PHEW. Tuk tuk man was still there although we're not too sure what he did for 4 hours. Woops!

We had so much fun though. Again, that was looking back. But we do still laugh at our screaming. We want to become tour guides for the same trek as we're so at home with nature.

Quote of the day came from Jan:

"Why can't it just all be beautiful butterflies?!"

Wouldn't be much fun would it Jan!!

Week 14/15 - Laos - Luang Prabang

We got to Luang Prabang early evening after our 10 hour bus journey. We checked in our place and headed out for some food. It had a real french town feel to the place and we really liked it. LP had a curfew of 11pm. Everything stops and shuts completely. Everything except the bowling alley! So after teaching Texas how to play pool (!) we headed to the place to be.




We spent about 5 days in Luang Prabang. It was a cool place just to potter around in. It felt more like we were in a quaint little french town. Apart from one or two afternoons we did keep busy...




Phusi

A climb to the top to see a temple and a gorgrous sunset. With packs of other tourists though but the view was great. Even if we couldn't see from all the sweat in our eyes. Those steps were hard work!


Wats

We hired some bikes again one day and went and seeked the WATS that were about the place. It was such a sunny day and so peaceful so we spent pretty much the whole day on our bikes, exploring the quaint town.



Cooking class
So we enrolled on to our chosen class at a restaurant and turned up at 8.30am the next day as they told us to. There was no1 else on the course so just us two girlies. They took us to the market and told us all about the different herbs and ingredients they use. And then we had a whole morning of chopping and preparing our scrum lunch that we made. We had coconut soup to start, Luang Prabang beef stew, and fresh spring rolls, and sweet pumpkin for afters. We're going to do one in each country so be prepared for a feast when I come home!




Night Market

And a really romantic one at that. All lit up with cute lanterns and all the stalls selling silk and coffee and other such Laos stuff. It was on every evening and we did go a few times.




Saffron coffee

The place that did us the best baguettes. And I sampled the Laos coffee. Really good.




"Hoss/The pirate in training/The Dude/Andrew"

We got chatting to a guy called Hoss. He was from California but had spent the past few years working on various projects in Asia. We drank wine with him in a nice wine bar a couple of nights. He was really nice and had some funny stories about when he'd been travelling. Funny and scary. It's not THAT funny being shot by the Cambodian mafia is it??


Bowling
I don't need to explain this do I? Lots of fun.




Arts and ethology centre
A place to read about all materials that different tribes produce.




Morning monks
The monks of the town get up early every day and walk the streets and we were told it's a must to see it. So sure enough one morning we set our alarm for 5am. We were still a bit late though but did manage to see the back of some monks.



Trek to a Waterfall
WHY?!! Coz it's fun to get adrenalined up. No but we were told this was a leisurely beautiful waterfall that we should see. Please see next page. It requires more than a paragraph.



Massage
Much needed after the trek. Say no more. It was perfect. Actually that's a bit of a lie. She did hurt me a little bit.



The Mouse
In our room. It ate some of my crocs one night. I think he thought it was funny because he heard me say bad things about him when I found that he'd nibbled my crocs. The next day I found that he'd had a go at my flip flops as well... when we told the guest house owners that there was a mouse in our room, they laughed and agreed that there was probably a mouse in our room. Service with a smile!

ON THE BUS

So away we went
As our time had been spent
It was time to visit the next town.
The roads were so curvy
And all topsy turvy
And so high up that I couldn't look down.




The bus then stopped
The breaks had popped
Loads of smoke came out of the side.
So we sat in hope
But it was hard to cope
Coz we had to wait there for another ride.



We waited and waited
And waited and waited
The music they played was so sad.
But we waited and waited
And waited and waited
Until we began to go mad.


(please note at this point Jan and Texas requested I write something a bit more positive to get hopes up)...


Then out of the blue
The breaks turned brand new
And the driver got back to his seat.
The sad songs went away
So our own music we could play
And the journey went on to complete!!




(So the breaks didn't actually turn brand new but they did manage to get the bus going again. I feel my poem helped...)

Week 14 - Laos - Phonsavan

"Phonsavan was built in the mid 1970s, because the old capital of Xieng Khouang was utterly destroyed during the fighting between the Pathet Lao and American backed anti-communist troops. Its most famous attraction is the nearby Plain of Jars*. The town itself is dusty and modern compared to most other Laotian towns. The Red Cross centre in the middle of the town provides information on the impact of the fighting on the town.**


*Archaeologists believe that the jars were used 1,500–2,000 years ago, by an ancient Mon Kmer race whose culture is now totally unknown. Most of the excavated material has been dated to around 500 BC–800 AD. Anthropologists and archeologists have theorized that the jars may have been used as funeral urns or perhaps storage for food. The Plain of Jars remains one of the most dangerous archaeological sites in the world. Unexploded bombs, in particular cluster munitions, the results of massive US bombardment during the Secret War, still cause injuries every week. Visitors can safely visit only three sites, designated Jar Sites 1, 2 and 3, and they should follow signs still warning of unexploded bombs. Many ignore them.


**The Mines Advisory Group (MAG) is a Non Governmental Organisation (NGO), which assists people affected by landmines, unexploded ordnance (UXO) and SALW (Small Arms Light Weapons). MAG takes a humanitarian approach to landmine action. This means that they do not focus on metrics such as land area cleared or numbers of landmines removed. Instead, they focus on the impact of their work on local communities. This approach recognises that although the number of landmines in an area may be small, the effect on a community can be crippling.


Me and Jan went in to the MAG office on the evening that we arrived to learn all about it. One of the statistics there said that during the secret war one planeload of bombs was dropped over Laos every eight minutes for 9 years, with 30% of all the ordnance dropped not exploding.


I hadn't read about it this place, but Jan's mum had mentioned to go. We had a 7 hour bus journey there, climbing up more in to the mountains and going round and round, and up and down the slim windy roads. We also got chatting to David - a guy from Texas. He had been travelling for 2 years already. We got there and headed to a guest house that was in our guide books for being the 'our pick'. Mr Kong. We settled in and then went out to get our tour to the plain of jars for the next day. Mr Kong suggested we do a trek with him as well as spending a whole day in the fields with jars was a bit dull. It was also cheaper if there were more people, so with that thought we ventured out to have a bite to eat and hopefully find some more trekkers. Which we did! And got it all booked up.



So then the next day it was an early start and we drove to the market to get our breakfast (mmm waffles!) and lunch. The markets are all so colourful and buzzy, I really like them. And the waffles that we bought. I liked them too :) Then we drove for an hour back along the curving up and down mountain roads and finally stopped at an area with bomb crater caused by bunker bombs. It was here that it started to rain. And rain.



We then headed to a Hmong village and walked through, seeing how these people have had to deal with the results of the war. It was still raining. And raining. Luckily we'd put in our rainmacks so we were good to go.



Then was the trek to the waterfall. Ok so I am a BIG wuss so the following may seem like I'm once again exaggerating but it's hard if you have certain fears! Like being high up on a mountain! So we were at the top of this mountain and we had to get to the bottom to the waterfall. Fine. But the rain was making the path downhill so so swippy once again. So carefully we followed the relatively easy path down, which twisted and turned. It took a good 30 mintues to get to the bottom. That's just half an hour of slippy twists and turns downhill. Ok. And yes I did slip on my bum once. Just for the sheer fun of it. We got to the bottom, took in the wonder of the waterfall and then grouped around the banana leaves that had been put on the floor to put the food on. As we were crouching, Texas felt a bite on his leg. A leech. I hadn't thought about whether there would be leeches until now. So then everyone quickly got to their feet and continued to eat standing up. It didn't phase those leeches though as I got a couple on my legs whilst standing there. They're only little and if you get them quick you can flick them off before they start sucking. As I ate lunch and watched for the leeches, I looked up at the mountain we had climbed down. We had to climb back up. But crazy Mr Kong wanted to take us on a different route. This route mainly involved just climbing up the side of the mountain, with shrubs and trees to help pull us up. Oh and walking over parts of the waterfall. At first the girls were taking off trainers to walk through the water, but then we kept going through so many we didn't bother. Oh and more leeches. You really don't feel them latch on though, they're HORRIBLE!!! At one point, crazy Kong was hacking away at the jungle bushes to try and make way for us to walk. There was no ledge. We just had to hope that there was something or other under the green that would keep us up on the mountain. I have to say that with a pure fear of going up mountains (which I got from actual reoccuring nightmares from walking/driving up mountains when I was little) I think I did pretty well. No time to fret. Just do it. And even though my head was spinning for some of it, it was once again weirdly enjoyable. So I'm going to save that memory for the next heart attacking moment that I come across. The adrenaline keeps you going. An hour and a half later and we reached the top of the mountain again. Oh yeh and it wasn't just raining either. It was a proper monsoon tropical downpour. In the asian jungle. With the leeches. Climbing mountains.



Then was the jars. And Kong was right. After about 20 minutes of admiring, taking pictures, and talking about them, enough was enough. An ancient wonder though, and I really enjoyed learning about them. Once you've seen one jar though, you've kind of seen them all...



So we got back to Mr Kong's guest house, completely knackered. Sleepy time. And hot shower time. We were, for the first time on my travels, really quite cold. And then an evening of BBQ, BeerLao, LaoLao (Laos vodka), and guitar music played by Kong himself and Olivier - I guy from Canada. Oh I have to mention Peter coz we liked him. A scotsman who had done loads of travelling and also gave us lots of tips for our next place. You loved Luang Prabang didn't you Peter!


So this was just a short stop over as nothing else goes on in this town really. Another early start the next morning to go catch our bus. Texas was coming with us as well.

Week 14 - Laos - Vang Vieng

Wikepedia's bit about Vang Vieng:

"Vang Vieng today is mainly a backpacker town. The main street is littered with guest houses, bars, restaurants, internet cafes and tour agencies. One of the main attractions of the town is tubing on the river. Whilst free floating downriver in a rubber ring, there are several places to stop, mostly small family-owned bars or just simply an enterprising local with a bucket filled with ice cold bottles of Beerlao, and also several good spots for jumping into the river from the bank or a specially-constructed bridge. Careful on the 10 meter high swing - it's common to perforate your eardrum and do permanent damage to your hearing if you land the wrong way. During the wet season, the river can be a series of ragingrapids, but during the dry season, some of it is little more than a trickle."

How can you not go to Vang Vieng after a description like that!! Yes it was built mainly for the tourists in that all the bars and places to eat had FRIENDS or family guy playing over and over all day long. But the day we went tubing was so much fun. We decided to go on a tour as we wanted to do a bit of exploring in the mountains as well. So we set off early in the morning and were driven about 15KM up in to the mountains. The views were beautiful. The cloud was quite low so as we drove up the mountain paths you could just see the peaks peeking through the cloud. It's so green, and the majority of people still live in little tribes up in the hills. Once we got dropped off half the group went to do kayaking and our lot went up to do some caving. I don't think either of us were prepared for the next couple of hours. Luckily we wore our trainers or we would have had it. One poor bloke had flip flops on and he was slipping about everywhere. It's wet season so it's pretty slippy everywhere.

So we were given flash torches and then went on ahead to start climbing up in to this cave. It took a good 10 minutes for everyone to get in as it was so slippy. Which, by the way, the guide kept telling us. Bearing in mind they don't pronounce their 'r's'. So all we were being told every couple of minutes was 'It's swippy. It's swippy' as he chuckled and lead the way. The cave was pitch black so it took a good 10-15 minutes to really adjust to it, even with our torches. "Swippy". But he took us round, telling us to mind the deep holes that drop miles below. "Swippy". It was quite an assort course in there as well so was quite a challenge I think. The funniest bit (funny to look back on, maybe not so 'ha ha' at the time) was when we came to a 3 metre wall and he asked if anyone had done any rock climbing before. Noone really responded as they were focussed on the 20 metre drop which sat under the wall. "Swippy". There was nothing else to do but just leg it up there! But it was actually fun in a weird sort of 'aaggghhhhhhh' way. We did a couple of other caves, and also walked through rice fields and past the stunning mountains. It was such a gorgeous day as well. Then we went to do another cave but with a twist - in a rubber ring. Another hilarious 30 minutes of not really knowing where you're heading. "Mind your head. Careful. Swippy". At first we had rope to pull ourselves along with inside the cave. Then the rope stopped and our laid back Laos tour guide shouted "rope stop, let go but make sure you get over to the right side of the cave. Mind your head"... that would have been fine if you could SEE the right side of the cave. Once you let go of the rope you were just left drifting to wherever the current fancied taking you! So lots of splashing around by the group and some team effort we all made it. "SWIPPY!"

And now for the best bit - LUNCH! Ha, no not really. But lunch was good. After that we were taken to a part of the river (Nam Song River), given our rubber ring and away we went! Floating along and over some rapids and then stopping at a bar on the bank. There was a big swing there but me and Jan were too chicken. People were walking about with big bruises as well which we didn't fancy too much. So we had a drink there and then left with the others for some more tubing down the river, still taking in the stunning surroundings. And then stopped at another bar. We saw a gay couple from Germany who we'd chatted to on the bus there, and they had been doing the swing. Did we get talked in to doing it?! YEHHHH. We both wanted to, just needed a nudge. So we walked up all the steps, got to the top and looked down. It's quite a big drop. Jan stepped back and wasn't so sure anymore but I just thought if I stood there any longer then i'd lose my nerve as well so I just grabbed the swing, held tight and jumped off to my first ever trapeze act, haha. It was so funny. You're not quite sure when to actually let go. You just do it after you've been swinging too and frow a couple of times, then plop in to the river you go. And maybe your bikini top comes off a bit too (luckily I realised this before coming up to the surface). I was careful not to perforate my eardrum as well...

Then some more tubing down the river and then out before it got dark!

That evening we had dinner with a bunch of people we met that day and ended up at the only bar to stay open late - The Bucket Bar! Oh and me and Ru (a scottish guy with a strange array of accents, none of which sound that scottish) waited quite a while for a mojito. That put so much effort in to it and was quite a build up. But it tasted more like the river water we'd been tubing in. We figured there was a gap in the market for training SE Asia on how to make cocktails.

The next day we just chilled out, found a hammock to lay in for a bit, found a place that did the best roast I've had in 3 months (the only roast i've had in 3 months). Here we sat shovelling it all in and then a storm hit. It was actually right above us. You know when the sound and the light comes at exactly the same time. Right over the restaurant. It was pretty intense. Didn't spoil the food though! And of course we got sucked in to the FRIENDS bars. It's a nice thing to do though. You don't watch any TV when travelling really so to just kick back with a cuppa tea and maybe a honey and banana pancake and a few episodes of FRIENDS is a treat :)

Week 13 - LAOS - VIENTIENE

Vientiane fun

The bus dropped us off in the centre of town,
We picked up our bags and looked up then looked down.
The road was so quiet, we didn't know where to look
But then a friendly face came and offered us a tuk tuk.
We rocked up at our guest house and checked there was space,
Vientiane was looking like a really nice place.
The room was all clean so we unpacked our pants
We only realised later we shared the bathroom with ants.
It was still only early but we wanted to eat,
So we sat with some locals and had noodles and meat.
The food was so tasty and ever so cheap
But we were tired from our journey so we went for a sleep.
A few hours later when we woke from our doze,
We got washed and we dressed and went out for a nose.
The day was so hot, there was sweat in our fringe,
So we stopped for a shake; banana and orange.
Together we decided it was time for a treat,
So a massage it was, on our legs and our feet.
Into the night we found a great place to dine,
We had burgers and chips and a large glass of wine.
The very next day we both woke with a frown,
Emotions ran riot and we were both feeling down.
But we stuck to our plan of renting a bike,
'Coz' most of the sites were too much of a hike.
Jan lead the way with our little pink cat,
First the Laos monument, and then 'WAT Pha That'.
At one point in the day, we did have a scare,
We returned to our bikes but they weren't even there!
We found them in time, in a car parking spot,
But we had to pay up, and cheap it was not.
Our biking adventures were great on that day
It really did blow those emotions away.
To continue the fun we went bowling that night
And were surprised to find out that we both did alright!
But the music was dreary and really not cool
So we put the bowls down and went out to play pool.
On the third and last day in our temporary home,
We still had our bikes so we went for a rome.
We walked through a market of gorgeous silk scarves,
These hard working Laos folk did nothing by halves.
That evening we found us a nice French cuisine,
We both had a pizza but weren't really too keen.
We then had a drink where we'd dined the first night
But a drunk irishman sat with us and he talked loads of shite.
At first he had a rant about a big JCB
And then randomly changed topic; working at the BBC!?
He really did say this, he was up on cloud nine,
I'm not making it up just to make it all rhyme!
At last we escaped and we made our way back,
It was time for weary heads to go hit the sack.
But when we opened the door, there sat a surprise,
Incy wincy looked over with his HUGE spider eyes.
He carried on staring, I looked over at Jan,
We needed to come up with some sort of plan.
I told her to wait there and took off out the room
And returned with the night porter and a big bristly broom.
Incy's future looked bleak, I'm not going to pretend,
His web spinning days had just come to an end.
We did feel so guilty as that's not what we meant
But that spider was NOTHING like you'd ever see in Kent!
The next morning we rose early and jumped out of bed
For the 4 hour journey we had up ahead.
Vang Vieng was our next stop and we really couldn't wait
But our three days in the capital had been really great!