THE LAMENT OF THE STOLEN CARDY

The Lament of the Stolen Cardy
By David M Meads


Mooching along the Melbourne streets, I saw a cardy, alone,
unwanted on the shop rail.
Flaunting its woolly synthetic mix to no avail.
All black and grey and stripey, I could see
That it perfectly matched my personality.
I rushed into the shop, dollars in hand,
Wearing this cardy I looked like a guitarist in Franz Ferdinand.
Later, in the club that night
I was transformed by the magic indie cloak
To a coolish, stylish trendsetter.
From some dull bloke.
I threw the woolly hug onto a chair, unaware.
Fighting my way through a booze fog to the bog.
When I returned from the lavatory I saw that some blighter, with fingers lighter,
Had snatched my new found cardy.
Ephemeral, like English summers, like lace wings, like shooting stars, and a newly opened box of cocoa pops.
The cardy, as soon as it came was gone and I had to go back to the shops.
I bought another cardy but this one was black so's not to tempt the eyes and hands of those who would take the cardy from my back.

Week 37 - The Kiwi Experience

I watched 'Slumdog Millionnaire' on the plane. Wow. Just wow. If you haven't seen it then just prize your eyes away from this and get on to it pronto because it's not to be missed. Yes of course I cried. I won't go all media filmy about why but it was just a fantastic film.

Anyway I got to NZ safe and sound and to the hostel that i'd booked. I was in Auckland, which is in the North Island at the top. And is also where Tony's (Joanne, my cousin's fiance) is from and his family still live. I checked in, got my room key and went to dump my bags. Except there wasn't a spare bed in that room. So back to reception and they gave me another key, this time there was no one else in the room at all. Perfect. I had a bit of a rest (travelling to another country can be quite exhausting you know) and then headed out to the communal bit. And there I met Hayleigh, from the nunnery hostel and we had a quiet evening down at the hostel bar.

The next day I decided to sort myself out. I was still feeling low and was actually in two minds whether just to head on to LA where I could just stay with my friend Valerie who I'd met in Australia. I spoke to her over email and she said that she'd been in the very same position when she was in the very same hostel, but if I hung on in there, sorted out my bus round the country, i'd be sure to have a blast. It's not that I didn't want to do NZ but when that wall it standing strong you just can't see anything but and it drags you right down. Anyway you get the point. So why didn't I just come you may wonder? Well two friends from home had already booked their tickets to come meet me in america for my last week of my trip so I couldn't really just go home. But you'll see that by the end of that i'll be thanking that very reason instead. So I went to the travel shop in the hostel and booked my trip with a lovely girl.

"Oh you have to do a bungy jump when you're in NZ" she said "I tried to do the highest one but I just couldn't jump. It's 8 seconds of falling in to a valley. But you have to do one, maybe the Auckland bridge. That's much smaller..."
I laughed at her
"No no, I did a skydive in Australia, that's enough for me. Nothing could ever get me to do a bungy jump. I've never wanted to do one and never will"

Never say never.

I was able to start getting excited about my trip. I'd chosen to book 'the kiwi experience' which is a hop on hop off bus that goes around the north and south islands. Sorted. It was the same one that Valerie had done, and if she'd enjoyed it, then I would defnitely do so too. Although we'd only met up a few times in Australia (one spending NYE together) we'd stayed in touch alot and realised that we were so similar and were gutted we hadn't had more time together.

Anyway. It was Friday and I was to begin the 4 week trip on the Monday. The next day i had a wander and went to look for some jeans. Up until now I had only been in hot temperatures but NZ was going to be slightly cooler as it was coming up to their winter already. I wasn't sure how I would fit anything else in my backpack! But I couldn't prance around on glaciers in my spotty dresses. I didn't find any jeans. But I did find some sandals. I know I know, I couldn't wear those on the glaciers either but, well, they were just so so pretty. And I instantly loved them and knew they would make me happy. And I needed being made happy. AND... AND... they were the last ones. I mean, how couldn't I? And they did make me feel a bit happier. Just so you know. And that evening me and Hayleigh went to the hostel bar again (we're not just saddos, but the hostel bar is tres cheap to any other bar around) and waited there for David. He showed up half hour late as he'd had an 'incident with a ham sandwich' at the airport. Honestly these things only happen to him. Him and Alan Partridge. And he had also done his homework and written the poem that I'd set him to do.

Week 36 - The Wall

Anya woke quite early. She couldn't afford to keep the room she was in. She had actually arranged to be staying with Jan, who she'd met a few days before but she didn't seem to be replying to her texts/calls from over the wknd, so she checked out the double room and went and checked in to a dorm room. She wasn't even too fussed that she hadn't gotten back to her. She was still in a sad mood about her friends all being gone so some familiar company would have been good but being in a dorm perked her up a little bit. Straight away she started talking to a lovely german girl.

Most of the day was just spent doing her washing and reading and then trying to catch up with her blog. Once again she had fallen behind with it. As she sat thinking about writing the parts when her friends had been with her, she had an idea to write it in 3rd person narrative so it was more like a story. And then when her friends went home, she would return to using 1st person...

...which I have rather enjoyed doing.

I really wasn't in the mood for much other than mooching around. Actually my pals had worn me out for the 3 weeks they had been there. I was used to leisurely deciding what to do on most mornings but as they were on holiday and didn't have the luxury of 'bumming around' that I did, it was all a bit more scheduled. Not that I minded one bit of course. Just explaining why I was tired! I made arrangements to meet someone for lunch the following day and went to bed.

Think right back to the very start of my journey. The very first flight to Bangkok on 26th June 2008. Well I sat next to a lovely couple - Deanna and Robert, who were from Melbourne. And still are. They told me to look them up when I got to Melbourne. So, 8 months on and i'm on a train on my way to Glen Waverley station, which is where Deanna said she would pick me up from. I wondered whether i'd recognise her. And she actually wondered the same. And we both did. It's funny what your memory tucks away. We sat on an 11 hour flight 8 months ago and recognised eachother straight away. I went to her house and we had some tea, and then went out for some lunch along with a few of her friends. And one of the friend's son who was a gorgeous little red-head. Very sweet. He laughed when I told him that 'dong' was the vietnemese money and then he asked me to open a chocolate for him so I taught him how to do it himself. Maybe a skill his mum didn't want her 6 yr old son to know just yet... Then back to Deanna and Robert's for some tea and then they very kindly drove me back to the nunnery. I had a really lovely day.

The next day I was still trying to get over this homesickness wall I was standing under. It was really getting to me. You must be wondering where the poem is. Well I thought about writing one but they're getting a bit samey now aren't they?? It probably would have gone something like:

I looked all around it hoping to see just a chink
But all saw was my family with every single blink

Yardi yardi yardi. It would have been pretty depressing.

So anyway I had some breakfast in the kitchen. I liked it in the nunnery. It was so homely. And there was free breakfast every morning. Cereal, toast, tea/coffee. Always a plus. And everyone sits round a huge table in the kitchen and has breakfast and chats about everything and anything. It was a pretty busy morning in the kitchen and as I walked along with my cereal, some guy, that i'd noticed just sitting in front of his laptop over the past couple of days, told me I had a hair in my bowl. It was somehow funny. I think my sense of humour has somewhat deteriorated. Anyway I took the last seat but then offered half of it to the hair man. As we chatted it became clear that he was northern. How do I always attract them?! But we got along, and it turned out he was going to be in Auckland a couple of days after I got there. And so was another girl at the table. So it was nice. And I was a little perkier already. Jan had gotten back to me the previous day but I'd told her I was now settled in my dorm. It was much better not to rely on someone anyway. And if I had gone to Jan's I would never had met David. The northerner. Actually he's from Nottingham but he lived in Manchester for a long time. And Hayleigh who is from Scotland.

I then went for a good few hours of wandering around town. Mainly looking in shops. And I just bought one t-shirt which was on sale. It cheered me up some more. And some sushi. A little more. And a bit of a prayer in the gorgeous Cathedral. A bit more. But even after managing to perk myself up a little, there was still a very strong want to just go home.

In the evening I tried to eat the last of what was in my food bag. So I had a sweet potato and tin of beans and polished off the digestives that me and Laura had dribbled over (not actually. We just simply love digestives don't we lau. Dipped in tea. Yes.) Then went to chill in the tv lounge where I sat and got to know David a bit more...

Name: David Meads
Age: 31
Occupation: Medical psychological researcher (or something of that effect)
Likes: Not much
Dislikes: Most things
Travelled to: SE Asia, Australia, about to go on to NZ and then S America.

We had a similar sense of humour and drank some tea and talked about our plans for NZ. Actually he talked a bit about his. I hadn't made any as yet other than getting my flight. When it got late I said goodbye, ordered him to write a poem about a cardigan that he'd bought and had gotten stolen the same day (stuff like that just seems to happen to David), arranged to meet a few days later, and then went off to sleep as I was leaving early to fly to NZ in the morning. I have to say, that I wasn't even that excited. I just wanted to go home.

Week 36 - The one where Laura and Ryan went home :(

When they got back to the 'nunnery' after their lovely 'mafia owned' Italian dinner together, Laura and Ryan went off to sleep. It was their last full day the next day and they had lots planned. Anya hopped on to the computer to call home. She got excited about talking to her folks at home. They always had something or other to talk about and she liked telling them what she had been up to. When she finished, she was having a quick nose on facebook when Laura and Ryan appeared.
"Hey, what are you two doing up still?" Anya asked to her worried looking friends.
Laura sat down and told her of how they were double checking their flight details for 2 days time when they noticed they had 2 home flight confirmations. One was for the Sunday and the other for Monday (which is the one they thought they were on. So they had called the airline and it turned out to be on the Sunday!
"Lucky you checked it. Don't worry we can still do most the stuff we planned". Anya said. Laura had been worried about letting her down because they couldn't do everything they wanted on their last day together, but after 7 months of travelling there was actually very little that bothered Anya. She was sad that Laura and Ryan were going home anyway but there wasn't too much anyone could do about it so they re-arranged their plans slightly and went and got some sleep.

So the next day, now the day that Laura and Ryan were leaving (but not until the evening) they got up, had some breaky and then headed out to Melbourne zoo!! Anya had been to her fair share of zoos over her trip but all were different, and this one was so because it was Australia's oldest zoo. They made their way round the map on the extrememly hot day that it was. The animals seemed to feel the heat and the fact that it was a sleepy Sunday as many of them were asleep and out of sight. But they did get to see a few gorgeous animals; the tiger (anya's favourite), the penguins (who were as animated as you would expect penguins to be. They were brilliant), lots of lizards, snakes etc, a few monkies, a Ryan, giraffe, zeeebra, kangaroos. Sadly the koala wouldn't come out from his sleep. Not surprisingly, seeing as they sleep for 20 hours a day and feed on nutrientless leaves... how are they not exstinct? And there were no crocs. They did, however, see the fat family with the most ignorant fat child who was only ignorant and fat because of his fat parents who seemed to have created him that way. Laura spotted him at first standing at the front of a crowd, trying to touch one of the birds and causing a fat fuss. And then she pointed him out to Anya later on, this time sitting in his normal sized pram. This boy was 6, maybe 7 years old. Even the idea that a fat 6/7 year old child could fit in to a normal sized pram is pretty 'far out' (a common ozzy term of disbelief). But actually seeing it was a fat joke. He was squashed right in there, making demands about which way he wanted his fat mum or fat dad to push him. "I WANT TO GO THIS WAY MUM". When they were done following the fat family around in horror, they got a taxi back in to town and headed to where they had decided to have their last meal together. But it was closed. Oh. So they wandered round, not being able to make any sort of decision. Just when they had thought to go back to a place they had gone for breakfast, they spotted a nice Greek restaurant.

"This is the best food I've ever eaten" Ryan stated whilst shovelling down his bbq'd meat. The girls laughed but agreed it was great food. They sat and chatted about what a good time they had had, and looked forward to Anya getting home and seeing them again. Although that was another 3 months to go yet. They finished up, got back to the hostel and made sure everything was packed up and ready to go, before they sat out in the courtyard waiting for Laura and Ryan's taxi for the airport to arrive. They cracked open the Pinot Noir that Laura and Ryan had bought from their wine tour and drank a few more dozen toasts to their excellent holiday.

And then they left. Anya couldn't quite contain it and stood bawling her eyes out as she waved them both off. She didn't want them to go. No. Wrong. She wanted to go with them. Yes, for the first time on her trip so far, Anya really wanted to go home. She'd had enough. She'd been with people she knew for nearly 8 weeks and now it was back to being on her own, having to make all the effort if she wanted any sort of company.

When she could no longer see their taxi (due to it being out of sight, not from too many tears) she went back inside the hostel and went to her room. Her lush double private room, that Laura and Ryan were meant to be sleeping in. But due to their flight actually being a day before expected, they gave the room to Anya. They weren't able to get a refund anyway. Anya was so pleased for the private room for the night. She didn't feel much like talking to anyone. She had a read and then fell in to a deep, much needed sleep.

Week 35/36 - THE ONE WHEN THEY DIDN'T STOP LAUGHING!

With Sydney behind them they got on the plane
They'd really got quite sick of the rain.
To Melbourne they went with the sun shining bright
And straight to St Kilda then out for the night.

Early breakfast next day as they got it for free
Some cereal and toast and a nice cup of tea.
Ryan upgraded (he was in a well hungry mood)
But with huge egg overload it was way too much food!

At midday they headed out with a picnic in hand
And sat for an hour on the St Kilda sand.
They joked and they laughed as they absorbed the day's heat
And laughed even more at the Seagull's quick moving feet!

They then walked in to town which took a fair while
Because what they didn't know was it was 5 or 6 miles!
It was 8.30pm before they rested their feet
And they had a huge plate of sushi for a well deserved treat.

Next day was a wine tour in the Yarra Valley
They were drunk by ten thirty then Ryan needed to pee.
But they appreciated all the wine there and bought a Pinot Noir,
And then enjoyed some more tasting at the Moet Chandon bar!

On the bus they were occupied by two 'yanks' with no charm
Who were flirting with two irishmen boasting a small potato farm.
In the evening they dined where the service was so slow
But were impressed by a live band who called themselves 'Jed Rowe'.

Next day they moved hostel to a huge old nunnery
Ry and Laura went exploring and Anya arranged someone to see.
Remember posh Jan from Asia, who Anya travelled with?
Well she was now in Melbourne and had found somewhere to live.

They talked and talked for hours about all the fun they had
And Jan offered her, if she needed, to stay at her new pad.
So they set a day to meet again, once Lau and Ry had got there home flight
And then that evening was spent mooching and a nice early night.

The three woke up all excited for their new journey up ahead
Because they'd hired a 'wicked' van which they would sleep in, instead.
So they set off in a taxi to go pick up their new abode,
And began their 3-day adventure along The Great Ocean Road!

They stopped for lunch at Torquay where the drivers did a swap,
Then Laura drove them to a funny beach with the name of 'Winkipop'! (this isn't made up)
They made a few dozen childish jokes and some pictures they did take
And then Ryan requested to go to the beach where they filmed 'Point Break'.

They waved at ALL other 'wicked' vans, non stop laughing all the way,
And continued to their destination, which they hoped was Apollo Bay.
But by the time they arrived at Lorne, it was later than their plan,
And with campsites closed up for the day, on the roadside they parked the van.

They agreed that during the night, if one of them needed the loo,
That they would not go alone and must wake up the other two.
At first when it got really dark they all felt a little tense,
But all the laughing soon began again when Ry explained his planned defense.

In the morning it was Anya's turn to drive the windy coastal roads,
And once she'd remembered which pedals were which she indeed enjoyed it loads!
Later that day they had a walk in the gorgeous old rainforest,
Then 12 Apostles, a tourist sight, where views were at their best.

Then this time, for piece of mind, they booked in to a campsite,
They shopped for food and bought some wine and had a feast til late at night.
But at 4am they all woke with pain, their bellies didn't feel too well
And even then jokes carried on about the van's rather stinky smell!

In the morning they all felt well again and had a clear up and a pack,
Because they'd planned a walk and BBQ, then had to drive all the way back.
As they packed their bits, Anya had a sneeze which went over a plate and a knife,
The days giggling went on from there with Jed Rowe's singing about Life! (take it away Alan)

When they got 'home', there were sleepy heads as it had gotten dark,
So they found an Italian and took a walk over a possum-filled Melbourne Park.
They all agreed they'd had so much fun on their adventure beside the sea,
And with all jokes told, and laughter gaffored, they'd been in perfect company.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Week 35 - The one where Sarah left Anya again :(

By midday the following day they were at Byron airport. Not just for a day out; they were flying back to Sydney. It was Sarah's last full day and she couldn't believe her holiday was over so fast. She was gutted and didn't really want to leave Anya again. After a short flight they were back at the 'Wake Up' hostel again. Ryan went off to the gym, and the girls headed out to shop. It was raining. Anya got more and more annoyed as her flip flops (which she bought in Bangkok months ago and had since lost all grip) kept slipping all over the pavement. In the end she just took them off. Yes, the pavement was filthy, and yes, she did look a little trampy, but yes, she figured it a better option to breaking her spine. After lots of browsing (and a little buying) in Anya's new favourite shop, Supre, Laura headed back to keep Ryan company and the other two went on a mission to find Sarah some Ugg Boots. Ugg boots are originally made in Australia, and are therefore cheaper to buy there than England or anywhere else. But they couldn't find any. Where were they all hiding? 'Maybe they had gone to Ugg Boot camp,' Anya thought. So they gave in and went to pick up Anya's photos that she'd put in to be transferred to a DVD from her camera.

"Sorry but your memory card must have picked up a virus from somewhere. None of your pictures have come out". The Asian guy behind the counter explained.

Anya stared at the computer screen looking at all her 900 distorted pictures. All the pictures she had taken since meeting up with Jo, Tony and beautiful little Isabella. All the Western Australia pictures. All the pictures of the brilliant couple of weeks she'd had so far with her friends. The sailing, The Blue Mountains, Brad and Todd, The Aquarium, Australia zoo (with a great pictures of her and the koala), Byron Bay etc. She was choked. And close to tears. Sarah comforted her and took her straight to Nandos.


In the evening they headed out to a bar down at the harbour in an area called 'The Rocks'. Laura had also arranged to meet and old colleague there. They had a great night together. Apart from the bit when Anya and Sarah went out for a cigarette and got caught up for an AGES giving hair style advice to a random lady who attached herself to them. They told her to shave it off...


The following day, with Sarah all packed up and ready to go the group said their goodbyes and Anya went and waited for a taxi with her. She wasn't happy about saying goodbye to Sarah AGAIN. Last time it was a day after her birthday in Bangkok and Sarah went home. Anya had gone back to their hotel room and cried for ages because she was so upset that Sarah had gone. But this time, although she was sad, it wasn't quite as tough as she knew that it wasn't quite as long until she'd see her again. They had grown even closer friends since Anya went away on her travels. They emailed a good few times a week and spoke every so often on the phone or text. As she waved her off, Anya bit back a tear and went and re-joined Laura and Ryan who were having breakfast. Then there were three.

As they sat wondering what to do with their day, Anya mentioned a dinosaur exhibition that she'd noticed was on at Sydney museum. To say that Ryan got excited would be a large understatement and within the hour they were waiting in the queue ready to see some T-Rex action. Anya was pretty excited too. She text Mirella to tell her what she was about to be doing as she knew she would appreciate all the excitement. At this point Laura wasn't too convinced but by the time she was half way round she was sold. And this is where all the laughing between the three of them started. And it didn't really stop until Laura and Ryan left Australia...

Week 34 - The one with the 2nd most absurd question EVER!

The girls managed to get themselves up on time the next morning, despite their rather late and blurry night. They checked out, made sure they had food for the coach journey and got themselves to the bus station. Seeing as Anya had been to Brisbane before she knew exactly where they should be waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

"Are you sure it's here" Sarah asked as there was only a few minutes to go until the bus was due to depart and there was no sign of it.

"Err yeh pretty sure. Don't think there is another bus garage" she said. Sarah went off to double check while Anya flicked through a trashy mag that had been left on the chair beside her. She wasn't really one to buy those sorts of magazines but actually liked seeing what sort of trashy celeb news was going on if there was an available magazine to look at! But just as she got stuck in to a story about how Jennifer really felt about Angelina stealing her husband, Sarah came running round the corner

"We're in the completely wrong place. QUICK!"

With backpacks, extra bags, and snacks they ran out the bus station and down the road to a small bus that was thankfully still there. As soon as they got on, they fell asleep. When they woke up they were in Byron Bay.

Byron Bay was hot. Sticky hot. Luckily they only had to wait 15 minutes until the hostel bus picked them up. All they wanted was to check in, freshen up and get to the beach/swimming pool. Anya had been to Bryon earlier in her trip and loved it there. This time they were staying somewhere different - The Arts Factory. It was known as a bit of a 'hippy' place. As they walked in to reception Anya immediately loved it. She was a hippy at heart. But checking in wasn't quite as easy as that. There was a problem. Sarah had booked a cube. But there wasn't a cube available and the staff weren't being too accommodating to the problem. After much 'discussing' with various staff and a bitch of a manager that wound Sarah up so much she wanted to cry (but didn't) they were shown to their hut. Now the whole hostel was based in a forest. The dorms were teepees (with lots of bed bugs Anya imagined), there were cubes, which were a bit more modern ('modern' meaning they had a mirror) and then there were huts. Sarah and Anya's hut overlooked the swamp that lay around the hostel. As the pair opened the door, the heat inside was rather overwhelming. And they knew it would be hotter at night. But it was just for 2 nights, and then they would be swapping to a cube... Now the check in had taken so long there wasn't much beach time left so they just popped out to get some dinner. Noodle Box. This was a good find. Noodles in a box. You can't get better than that.

The following day Laura and Ryan arrived. They had had a great few days in Sydney, exploring what there was to be explored, but were glad to be leaving the city. A few days is really enough of that place. Sarah and Anya went off to town to get some lunch (and despite this story being based around their meal times, they had actually missed breakfast on this day) and Laura said they would meet them once they were checked in. Soon enough they met up in town. Anya lead them to a nice sandwich shop which she boasted so nice 'because you can actually ask for what sandwich you want'. The group fell about laughing and didn't let that one pass, taking the mick for at least 5 mintues before wandering over to get their own sarnie (by the by, what Anya had meant was you can get whatever ingredients you want in the sandwich and they make it all up for you, rather than buying a ready made one...). They all wandered to the beach except Sarah, who was on a mission to find some sandals she had seen in Sydney. As Laura opened her sandwich, Ryan kept peering over at it. He was clearly jealous of her fat bursting chicken, salad, beetroot, and avacado sandwich and somewhat dissapointed with his tasty but quite plain beef and mustard compilation.

"Didn't think that one through did you Ryby" Laura teased. And with that, Ryan buried Laura's legs and renamed her 'Stumpy.'

That evening they had a some food and listened to some live jazz at the hostel bar, and an evening of further jokes and laughing. As Anya and Sarah got to bed they couldn't help but chuckle at the rather disturbing sounds that were coming from the swamp below them. The imagined Mr crocodile from the zoo was making a few of the 'plopping' sounds. They woke up at 4am, still a bit tiddly from just a few hours ago when they had got to bed, and went to wait for the van which was booked to take them up to the lighthouse so they could watch the sunrise. At 4am it was still pitch black. Once they were up there, it was still dark. As it got a bit lighter they realised that it was actually completely overcast and so they wouldn't really get to see any sun rising. They wandered around, took some pictures of the most easterly point of Australia and a couple comedy moments of Ryan (there's always possible pictures of comedy moments with Ryan) they were back in the van ready to be driven to the hostel again. As they waited, Anya listened in on the girl in the front who was asking the van driver a question. The 2nd most absurd question...

"Does the sun usually rise, because it kind of just got lighter this morning?"

Now Anya realised that she'd said some blond things in her time but seriously?? She wondered if the others had heard as well as they were at the back of the bus. Sarah had and they all had a titter about it later on.

For the rest of the day, Laura and Ryan rented out some bikes and cycled the whole of Byron Bay. Anya and Sarah did something just as equally active - sunbathing. For some reason Anya had got showered and dressed in to her favourite red poker dot dress. So when they got to the beach, she was jealous of Sarah who went to splash about in the sea. It was hot. So hot that she decided she wasn't too bothered about the people around her that she didn't even know, and just like a 5 yr old, she quite carelessly stripped off to her undies and joined Sarah for a splash about. Sarah was quite amused by this but glad she'd done it. As they left the beach the biggest coincidence of the week happened... Sarah has a brother called James. Now James had booked to go to Thailand in April to meet up with his 3 friends who were currently travelling the world. Sarah was obviously aware of this but didn't know where they were. But found out at this moment as they walked off the beach and bumped straight in to them! They had a chat and arranged to maybe meet up in the evening. Anya couldn't quite believe that one of them looked IDENTICAL to her first boyfriend, Sam. AND he was called Sam. Spooky. And sure enough Anya and Sarah went for a boogey at Cheeky Monkey's later that night.

The following day, they had booked a trip to Nimbin. A hippy town, where hippies lived and made a living out of hippy things. The bus turned up, and who should be on the same trip as them but James's friends. The 2 hour bus journey was tough for those who had been out the night before. Really tough. The bus driver talked about some of the history of the area and dropped them off in to Nimbin and to look out for the old lady who sold 'cakes.'

"She's just like your nan".

Anya wasn't convinced by this comment. She doubted that she'd catch either of her nan's walking up and down Nimbin highstreet selling 'cakes' to the public. And when they spotted the lady in question, it confirmed that she was actually nothing like either of them. Good.

There wasn't really much to do in Nimbin. They wandered about the museum, Anya bought a little badge to go on her favourite 'I Love Nerds' t-shirt, Laura bought a gorgeous colourful skirt which the strap would later break on, and then they just waited around for the bus to pick them up again. But not before having a chat to the non nan-like lady... They were then taken off to the middle of a forest where the driver cooked a rather good bbq. Then off to a small waterfall where a couple of crazy people (including Ryan) jumped off in to the water, and then they went 'home'. On the way home, Anya spoke to the boys about where they were heading after Australia. They were off to New Zealand. Up to this point in her trip Anya had actually crossed off NZ from her list. It had already gotten expensive, and so she had decided to stay in Australia and work and save for her holiday in Las Vegas, where she was meeting a couple of friends in a few months. But after talking to them about New Zealand she realised just how dissapointed she was in missing out the country from her trip. So she decided to do something about it and changed her plans. Anya had learned to also realise that everything happened for a reason, and the reason for bumping in to James' friends quite coincidently, was so that she would change her travel path to New Zealand.

That evening was a rather quiet one really. They just had some tea and cake. And spent the evening laughing. ALOT...

Week 34 - The one with the most absurd question EVER!

Now a couple of years ago Sarah was temping at Carlton Screen Advertising, where Anya was working. One morning whilst they were busy starting the day, they heard the saddest news that Steve Irwin had passed away. They were so sad that they went to the Portait (their local) that very night.

So, now in Australia and heading to Brisbane, they decided they would go and pay their respects to Stevie and visit his zoo; Australia Zoo. They'd also had a lot of zoo fun back in Bangkok on Anya's birthday so were keen to re-live some of that. They were excited. And once they had been picked up by the van taking them there and were given a 'I Love Crocs' badge, they were even more excited. Could the day possibly get any better? Well it did.

After an emotional video about Steve Irwin on the van, they arrived. Badges on, map in one hand, camera in the other they darted through the entrance. They were like kids in a zoo. Only a little bit older. Just a little. They headed to the elephants where they gave a hand in feeding them. Sarah took a photo of Anya, which was clearly not allowed (due to professional ones being taken and the big zoo money making scheme) and she got told off and they ran on to the next bit of the zoo - a crocodile and bird show.

I bit later on they entered the kangaroo bit. Sarah and Anya went and bought some food once they realised they were allowed to feed the kangaroos and hopped on back to do some feeding. They loved it. Bent down and feeding them, and talking to them, the kangaroos were really gorgeous and the pair loved being that close to them. They took some pictures, laughed at a particular amusing one of the 3 of them (Anya, Sarah and Roo) and headed on to take the internal train to see the elephants again. They jumped on to the train, sighed at the day's heat and laughed hard when the train took them 20 metres and they were at their destination already. That's the way they roll. The thing they enjoyed about the zoo, was that it wasn't just a zoo where they put on shows etc. It's just their home, and people are there to just observe how they get looked after. So watching the elephants wasn't a show, it was a daily routine of how they check the health of the elephants and feed them.

Next up were the tigers. Anya's favourite. And it was play time. A young girl jumped around with the year old cubs and played with them in the water. It was amazing to watch. Anya loved tigers and wanted one for a pet. She was hoping her parents would maybe buy her one for her next birthday.

Then for the cutest part of the day. The koala hugging part. They queued up, and got even more excited at the prospect of hugging such a cute koala. Anya went first, and Sarah took a few great pictures on her camera. She stepped forward, held her arms out as instructed and hugged the koala and smiled for her snap. The koala was so warm and Anya just wanted to take him home. Maybe she could ask for a tiger AND a koala. She didn't see why not... and then it was Sarah's turn. Anya returned the favour and took some pics on Sarah's camera as well as her getting the professional one done.

And then already it was time for the zoo fun to end. But not before watching the crocodiles being fed. It was amazing. They watched as the two men ran about the croc pen, ensuring the croc didn't eat him. He then went up on a big step and fed a chicken to the crocodile. Anya was pleased with a perfect shot she got of the action. And a video. It was really great. And then for some questions from the audience.

"Do crocodiles eat ice cream?" someone shouted. There's always one isn't there. but that wasn't the question of the day. The question of the day came from a lady who was sat with her husband and two children...

"What does the inside of a crocodiles belly look like?"

The man in charge paused and replied "Oh do you mean the underneath?"

"No no no, I mean the insides of the crocodiles belly" she repeated.

Sarah and Anya but the sides of their mouths and looked away. What? Did she really ask that?! The man just looked mightily confused and gave a good answer of "Oh I can't say i've ever seen crocodiles insides, probably just the same as anyone elses stomach insides."

'Bloody stupid woman' the girls thought.

And with that they went off to the photo lab to pick up their koala pictures. Sarah wasn't too keen on hers. Anya thought it was a stunning picture of her, as usual. Sarah was extremely photogenic and there was rarely, if ever, a bad photo of her. Anya liked hers and was excited for her parents to see it as well. After a look in to souvenir shop (some taking longer than others), and a funny photo with a teddy koala, they were back on the bus home again.

In the evening the girls just went for a drink in the hostel to bar. They had to catch their bus to Byron Bay the next day so didn't plan for a big night out. But things don't usually go to plan. They ended up having a good old boogey and started chatting to a few people. One guy was on his first night out after being divorced. Anya felt a bit sorry for him until he guessed her age at 28. She told him he looked 60 and headed back to the bar.

As they left the bar to find the golden arches, they quite randomly came across a group of 8 young guys wearing the same t-shirts with 'Poker' written on them. The girls stopped them and asked what thye were up to and they'd all just finished 'Poker club'. Lots of laughing and a poker face stand off later, they were happily filled with chicken Mcnuggets, and tucked up in their hot sauna, dead cockroach infested room.

Week 34 - The one where Little Jenny Allen went home

Now Sarah was super keen on visiting Palm Beach. It's where Home and Away is filmed. Her and Little Jenny Allen had been to the Neighbours set when they were in Melbourne. They all got up early (some taking longer than others) and headed out to go and hire a car to get to the beach. But there weren't any cars. Everything was booked. Sarah was really upset as it was pretty much the only day in the holiday they could have all gone there. Instead they decided to go to Manly. The day was so hot and waiting for the boat, they all got their suntan cream on. After a 30 minute glorious boat trip and a quick game of 'mine' they were settling down on Manly beach with their picnic and there they chilled for an afternoon. They had to make sure they sat near the toilet, as Ryan bladder was ever so weak.

"Ooo shall we go and get some beers?" Ryan asked. "I've been dreaming about drinking beer on the beach!"

So off they all went to the bottle shop. After a quick lesson of how to open up a beer bottle with a lighter, they wandered over to the harbour side of Manly. On the beach side, they weren't able to get in the sea as there were too many stingers (stinging jellyfish). There were still jellyfish in the harbour side, but not stinging ones. They set up their towels and drinks etc and were just about to tuck in to a nice cold beer when they noticed the sign on the side of the beach

'NO DRINKING ALCOHOL'

Dammit. After a bit of a conversation whether they should just chance it, they realised they were way too law abiding for such a thing and packed up their bits to go back over to the beach side. There they sat happily with their beers (having not looked out for any similar signs this time) and watched as an older lady walked about with a metal detector. As they watched they realised that she was just trying to find anything that anyone had unfortunately dropped throughout the day. They thought it a rather sad hobbie for her. As she approached Ryan made some beeping noises to throw her off course.

As they finished their drinks they headed back to get their boat back to town. It was Little Jenny Allen's last evening so they had planned an evening out. She had gone a bit earlier to go and say goodbye to her old boss, Scott. The sun was setting and there was a bit of time to wait before they got their boat, so what other option was there but to eat at Nandos. It was just too good an opportunity for them to miss. And what a good Nando's it was.

Back in town and a shower later, they were in the SCU bar toasting the end of Little Jenny Allen's holiday. Ryan didn't make it out. The sun, beer and whole chicken that he'd devoured had taken it's toll and he crashed out as soon as they had gotten home. As they sat there, watching in awe at the surfing video that was playing, Little Jenny Allen got a missed call from Magic fm, the place she had gone for a job for before flying to Australia. She ran outside to call them back, almost certain that she didn't get the job. But 2 minutes later she returned smiling from ear to ear. She got it!!!!! She was soo happy, and the group congratulated her. All the more reason to be celebrating!

The next morning was a bit of a write-off. Little Jenny Allen, Sarah and Anya packed up and checked out of 'The Wake Up' hostel. Anya went off to send a package of 'tut' home (tut that she wanted to keep but not drag round with her) and the other 2 went to have breakfast. Before long it was time to get the airport bus. Laura and Ryan were staying in Sydney for a few more days as they had only just got there. Sarah and Anya had plans to head up to Brisbane and would be meeting them in a few days. So they got on the airport bus, waved Little Jenny Allen off at the international airport and checked in to their own flight to Brisbane. It was weird waving her off. She was too little to be heading home on her own.

Soon enough Sarah and Anya were checking in to their new hostel in Brisbane. Anya was excited to be back with travel pal Sarah again. They'd had so much fun in Thailand together. Check in was the slowest EVER. They'd hoped to go and do some shopping, but by the time they had checked in and booked the following day's trip everything was closed (it was only about 5pm on a Saturday) so they decided it was time for something to eat. They had a nice pizza, a glass or two of vino and an earlish night in their sauna'd room (which also had a dead cockroach living in the corner - Anya didn't know whether to point this out to Sarah or not, but she did, but then wished she hadn't going by Sarah's reaction).

Week 34 - The one with Jimmy Bush

So after a cruisy evening of catching up on all things from Sidcup (or Surrey as it is now for Laura and Ryan - they've recently bought a house together in Thames Ditton in Surrey. Anya is yet to see it as she left for her travels just a couple of weeks before they moved in) the excited group were up early doors for a day trip to The Blue Mountains. It is a must do day trip when you are in Sydney.



So, up and ready early (some taking longer than others) and down to the cafe to pick up some food. Anya's decision making skills still hadn't improved and she panic ordered an apple pastry when the woman asked what she wanted. It's not really what she wanted but she ate it anyway. And a coffee, which Laura was rather jealous about later as she watched her sipping on it on the bus.



Jimmy was their driver for the day. He was a in his mid 30's, with a huge head of blond dreadlocks and piercing blue eyes, and claimed that he was really random



"Ok guys when we get of at this stop" he ordered after driving for about an hour "you can go to the toilets and maybe pick up some water, and I want you back at the bus by 8:51am."



Little Jenny Allen laughed. Sarah did as well but more so at the french guy sitting next to her who was wearing white jeans and pointed black shoes. She wondered whether he realised that he was going to be walking around wooded mountains today, in which case the white jeans weren't a great choice. Laura and Ryan sat all excited about their first day of their holiday. Once all the toilet stops had been made and Ryan had eaten his second breakfast of the day, they were back on the bus, listening to Jimmy's stories about Austalia.



"This is one theory about how kangaroos got their name - when James Cook got to Australia he pointed to a kangaroo and asked a bunch of aboriginals what it was called. They looked at eachother all confused and whispered something aboriginal, and amongst that Captain Cook heard the word 'Kangaroo'"



The group weren't too convinced about this story, or the rest that he was telling but it was something interesting to listen to whether they were true or not! They got to the national park and hopped out the bus. Over yonder were some kangaroos so the group went on over and took some pictures. Then it was on to a viewpoint of the blue mountains. Up so high and the weather already so glorious, the views were stunning. Sarah and little Jenny Allen went and sat near the edge of the mountain which Anya was a bit nervous about but they got some great pictures. And then on to the start of 'the walk'. As they walked along the path, listenin to even more stories, Little Jenny Allen picked up a poo-like looking bit of wood and pretended to be doing a poo. Anya rose to her usual maturity levels and couldn't stop laughing. And took a picture.



"That's definitely going in the sitcom"



Jimmy Bush told the group that there was a long walk which took about 2 hours and had been branding medium to hard by actual mountain hikers. Little Jenny Allen wasn't sure if her little legs could take it on and Sarah had a doctors note about her exercise allergy, so it was Laura, Ryan and dubious Anya. She was only dubious about all the heights and thought back to a similar looking mountain hike back in Laos. So away they went, down hundreds of steps to get to the depths of the mountain. And what beautiful sights they saw. Ryan was simply over excited about it all and the trio had a good giggle and proper catch up about everything that had been going on over the last 7 months. Anya was so happy to have her best pal Laura with her. So giggles, and laughs, giggles and laughs. They soon stopped giggling and laughing when the upward steps began. At first they were fine but 45 minutes on and there was still some way up to go, it was flaming hard work.



"Can we stop for water?" Anya pleaded as she also regretted ever smoking any cigarettes. So they made a few stops. Then they heard voices! Yes! Nearly there! But it turned out to be Jimmy Bush who had come down to check they were all ok. Finally after another twenty minutes or so of upward steps, they reached the top. Anya could feel her face glowing like the sunshine on the hottest day. They were well satisfied about their walk. They were greeted by Little Jenny Allen and Sarah eating an ice cream. After a few moments and some splashes of cold water in the nearby toilets, they made their way to the van and were escorted to a spot for lunch. Pie and a salad.



And then relentlessly on to the next walk... back down in to the depths of the mountains. But this time there was a train to take them back up again.. 'The steepest train in the world' it was called. And it was. The group all trembled a little as they were taken up backwards at a vertical angle. Ryan even admitted that he thought about his actions if the whole thing had callapsed and the train had gone the other way off over the mountain. Luckily it didn't.








The journey home saw Sarah falling asleep whilst Little Jenny Allen and Anya continued to talk about their new sitcom and how ridiculously funny it was going to be. Before they got dropped off at the hostel, Jimmy Bush took the group to Sydney Stadium. Little Jenny Allen contemplated having a hotdog but got talked out of it seeing as they were about to go for some dinner. She still regretted that decision as she was going home two days later. Hotdogs were her favourite.








The evening awaited them and they all decided to head to Darling Harbour and have a quiet meal to finish their tiring day. And what a meal it was. Steaks all round, and even though the service was shite, the food was far from it.